A Handful of Mindfulness: A Book Review

I recently came across a wonderful book on bringing mindfulness to children.  This book is written by one of my favorite figures in the mindfulness community, Thich Nhat Hanh.  I was lucky enough to spend time at one of his monasteries, Blue Cliff http://www.bluecliffmonastery.org/ , pictured above.  It was a wonderful experience.  Although it was in January and had freezing temperatures, the experience was peaceful and amazing.

For those of you who are familiar with Thich Nhat Hanh, you know he has many different books.  However, A Handful of Quiet is specifically geared towards giving children a beginning experience of mindfulness.  A Handful of Quiet uses natural images and simple language that children can readily understand.  It is a wonderful and easy way to introduce children to a powerful coping mechanism for feelings and thoughts.

In addition to giving children an introduction into mindfulness, it is also a great tool for families to use together.  By practicing the techniques shared in this book, families can learn to be mindful together.  For busy and over-stressed families, being mindful and meditating together can be a way of refreshing connection as well as learning to regulate emotions effectively.  This book also provides an opportunity for parents to role model for their children ways of dealing with stress and maintaining calm.  Teachers, therapists, counselors, and others who work with children can also use this book in a similar manner.

After using this mindfulness/meditation on a daily basis over time, people can carry with them pictures of the natural images used.  These pictures can become a reminder of the calmness experienced during the meditation.  Therefore, the feeling brought by using this meditation can be brought into many different environments.

Zen Garden 3

Even Castles made of sand, fall into the sea, eventually. 
--Jimi Hendrix

Zen garden 2

To see a world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower Hold infinity in the palms of your hand and eternity in an hour. --William Blake

Zen garden

Zen garden 1

"Now the Ears of My Ears are Open"

I mentioned in my last post Lend Me Your Ear that I would talk about my experience practicing mindful listening. My fiance' kindly agreed to give it a try with me. We started by facing each other. I was the listener the first time around. Being mindful while listening without interrupting the other person or saying anything at all for five minutes was a new experience. It was different than I expected and it made me feel more connected with what he was saying. When he was the listener, he also felt like it was a different sort of experience. I have found that practicing it (when I remember to) has yielded interesting results, particularly when dealing with people who are angry and stressed. I have found that mindfully listening to agitated people allows them to get it all out and they eventually lose the energy of the emotion and end the conversation either apologizing or at least being more rational. It is definitely a tool I will continue to use!  Let me know how it has worked for you.

(The title is taken from one of my favorite poets, e.e.cummings.  I highly recommend his collected works for the poet enthusiasts out there!)

Lend me your Ear: The Power of Mindful Listening

One of my favorite quotes is from Plato: "Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." I love this quote because kindness is often under rated and we often dehumanize each other (by we, I mean humans in general).

The other night, I was watching SNL (because Paul McCartney was the musical guest and he is one of my favorites!) and they had a skit that made fun of the fact that we sometimes don't know the names of people we see and interact with every day. We see them as their function instead of a full human being with depth and a story.

For me, this highlights another great feature of mindfulness in that it can be applied to relationships. So, I have a challenge for anyone reading this post. I challenge you to take notice of someone in your life and really pay attention to them for at least one conversation. Practice really listening to what they are saying, how they are saying it, and their motivation for saying it. While doing that, check in with yourself, attend to your own reactions to it and body sensations, really strive to be in that moment. If you do that, I'd love to know your experience! I will talk about my experience with it in another post soon!

Tune In, Turn On, Pay Attention: What is your Media Diet Doing to You

What are you filling your mind with? Buttery delicious movies with lots of explosions, sugary sweet reality shows with lots of romance and intrigue, or meaty, bloody crime dramas and medical shows?   Or do you prefer news shows that pretend to be objective and make you nod your head in agreement or make you want to throw your shoe at the television screen?  Or do you like listening to the radio?  You can find a range of song types and radio shows as varied as television shows.  Have you ever considered, though, what the ultimate impact these things are having on your perception of the world and your overall outlook? 

The effect of my media diet became clear to me after
I started having nightmares from watching too many episodes of Law and Order (SVU, Crime Unit, the original, etc.).   I was addicted to Law and Order shows for a long time, watching new episodes and reruns practically every day until I really saw how it was affecting me.  When I had a dream about someone breaking into my apartment and attacking me, I knew it was time to really pay attention to how watching this much of the show was affecting me.   

The idea of media diet is another place where mindfulness can help. By paying attention to what media we are "consuming" we may decide we do not want to consume it anymore or consume less of it or keep it the same. Just like mindlessly eating, we can sometimes
get pulled into the trap of mindlessly watching or listening. It's
like liking a song until you listen to the lyrics and realize they
contradict all your basic values.  At first, you liked the music a lot until one day, you really took the time to listen to the lyrics to see what it was about.  You may be surprised by what you hear. 

Take one day and just pay attention to your "media diet".  See if it is working for you or working against you.  If you do it, I'd love to hear about your experience!