Lessons in Sand: Separate but One

We perceive the beach as a singularity.  We look out at the dunes and the vast stretches of sand and think of it as one.  Yet, if we put our fingers into the Earth, we see the grains of sand flow through our finger tips.  Similarly, we as humans are separate but one.  We rise and fall together just like dunes on the beach.  Yet, we are separate and individual like grains of sand.

Lessons in Sand: The Inevitability of Change

There is a lesson in sand.  It teaches us the ongoing flow and form of time.  We are like the grains of sand being shifted by forces we do not quite understand.  By accepting this shifting nature of time and reality, we can enjoy the ebb and flow.  

Zen Garden 7

“Walk as if you are kissing the Earth with your feet.” 
― Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life

A Handful of Mindfulness: A Book Review

I recently came across a wonderful book on bringing mindfulness to children.  This book is written by one of my favorite figures in the mindfulness community, Thich Nhat Hanh.  I was lucky enough to spend time at one of his monasteries, Blue Cliff http://www.bluecliffmonastery.org/ , pictured above.  It was a wonderful experience.  Although it was in January and had freezing temperatures, the experience was peaceful and amazing.

For those of you who are familiar with Thich Nhat Hanh, you know he has many different books.  However, A Handful of Quiet is specifically geared towards giving children a beginning experience of mindfulness.  A Handful of Quiet uses natural images and simple language that children can readily understand.  It is a wonderful and easy way to introduce children to a powerful coping mechanism for feelings and thoughts.

In addition to giving children an introduction into mindfulness, it is also a great tool for families to use together.  By practicing the techniques shared in this book, families can learn to be mindful together.  For busy and over-stressed families, being mindful and meditating together can be a way of refreshing connection as well as learning to regulate emotions effectively.  This book also provides an opportunity for parents to role model for their children ways of dealing with stress and maintaining calm.  Teachers, therapists, counselors, and others who work with children can also use this book in a similar manner.

After using this mindfulness/meditation on a daily basis over time, people can carry with them pictures of the natural images used.  These pictures can become a reminder of the calmness experienced during the meditation.  Therefore, the feeling brought by using this meditation can be brought into many different environments.

Lend me your Ear: The Power of Mindful Listening

One of my favorite quotes is from Plato: "Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." I love this quote because kindness is often under rated and we often dehumanize each other (by we, I mean humans in general).

The other night, I was watching SNL (because Paul McCartney was the musical guest and he is one of my favorites!) and they had a skit that made fun of the fact that we sometimes don't know the names of people we see and interact with every day. We see them as their function instead of a full human being with depth and a story.

For me, this highlights another great feature of mindfulness in that it can be applied to relationships. So, I have a challenge for anyone reading this post. I challenge you to take notice of someone in your life and really pay attention to them for at least one conversation. Practice really listening to what they are saying, how they are saying it, and their motivation for saying it. While doing that, check in with yourself, attend to your own reactions to it and body sensations, really strive to be in that moment. If you do that, I'd love to know your experience! I will talk about my experience with it in another post soon!

Tune In, Turn On, Pay Attention: What is your Media Diet Doing to You

What are you filling your mind with? Buttery delicious movies with lots of explosions, sugary sweet reality shows with lots of romance and intrigue, or meaty, bloody crime dramas and medical shows?   Or do you prefer news shows that pretend to be objective and make you nod your head in agreement or make you want to throw your shoe at the television screen?  Or do you like listening to the radio?  You can find a range of song types and radio shows as varied as television shows.  Have you ever considered, though, what the ultimate impact these things are having on your perception of the world and your overall outlook? 

The effect of my media diet became clear to me after
I started having nightmares from watching too many episodes of Law and Order (SVU, Crime Unit, the original, etc.).   I was addicted to Law and Order shows for a long time, watching new episodes and reruns practically every day until I really saw how it was affecting me.  When I had a dream about someone breaking into my apartment and attacking me, I knew it was time to really pay attention to how watching this much of the show was affecting me.   

The idea of media diet is another place where mindfulness can help. By paying attention to what media we are "consuming" we may decide we do not want to consume it anymore or consume less of it or keep it the same. Just like mindlessly eating, we can sometimes
get pulled into the trap of mindlessly watching or listening. It's
like liking a song until you listen to the lyrics and realize they
contradict all your basic values.  At first, you liked the music a lot until one day, you really took the time to listen to the lyrics to see what it was about.  You may be surprised by what you hear. 

Take one day and just pay attention to your "media diet".  See if it is working for you or working against you.  If you do it, I'd love to hear about your experience!

Mindfulness: It's Not Just for Buddhists Anymore

"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom."  --Viktor Frankl



There is a rampant preconception that mindfulness is only a spiritual
tool. Due to this belief, many people who would benefit from
mindfulness reject it. Like many others, I do use mindfulness for
spiritual reasons; however, it does not have to be used that way. The
technique itself can benefit the most staunch of atheists. The act of
mindfulness is simply being in the moment with all of ones' senses
focused on where one is. It is a way of grounding oneself and becoming
centered. Benefits for those of us not interested in pursuing a
spiritual path include many things, but three major ones that I can
identify are:

1. Increased self awareness. When locating oneself in the moment, it
makes you more aware of yourself. This awareness is empowering and
like my favorite Viktor Frankl quote above, gives us the power to
change direction.

2. Greater self control. As I alluded to above, when we bring our
awareness to the moment, it helps us act with our authentic selves and
not act mindlessly in habitual ways. For example, when in the moment
and really paying attention to what you are doing, you may be more
likely to choose a piece of fruit for breakfast than a donut. Now, if
you are like me, you may grab the donut anyway sometimes, but
mindfulness will help you enjoy that donut much more fully than just
scarfing it down.  I talk about being more mindful about eating here:
 mindfulness-and-chocolate.html
3. The Several Physiological benefits. There are many benefits to
mindful meditation that research has supported. In fact, UCLA has a
mindfulness department (MARC) where you can read more about it, take
classes about mindfulness, and even have access to free mindfulness
meditations.

I'd love to hear from others who have more ideas on the benefits!

Why Not Today, This Second

Why wait to wake up?  Every second gives us an opportunity to start again, to start moving our lives in a new direction.  Even if it feels like an impossible task, even the minutest change can have a ripple effect.  Just think where you would be right now if you had started moving in the direction you want to go a month ago, a year ago, ten years ago? 

Happy Lotus: Another Amazing Blog

In my series of posts about blogs I love, the next one I would have to talk about is happylotus.com. I do not remember how I came across this blog but am so happy that I did. The blogger is Nadia and she is one of the most genuine bloggers you will find in the genre of "self-improvement" blogging. However, her blog is so much more than "self-improvement". She is more about self evolution at every level. Every time I read her blog, I feel stronger and wiser. What's amazing about her blog is that although she has a huge following, there is something very personal in her writing style so that each reader feels a connection with her. In her original blog, Nadia would reply to every person that left a comment. I am not talking one word replies; I mean thought-out, sometimes lengthy replies as if she really cared about what you said and wanted to acknowledge it in a deep way. She even responded thoughtfully to negative comments, not taking offense and not getting defensive. She has recently started a new project that includes blog posts but many other services that I have not yet explored fully. Her posts, more than any others, stuck with me long after I logged off the computer. In this blog, I will probably write posts that are reactions to her posts just because her posts are really inspiring to me.

For more discussion on other blogs I like, check out:
the wonderful world of being in the moment

The Wonderful World of Being in the Moment

When I look at what some people have accomplished and what they know in the realm of mindfulness, I realize that it is going to take me several years to even begin to know what I want to know on the subject. In the field of mindfulness, I am truly a novice; however, I am passionate about it and eager to know more. My interest in the subject began over twenty years ago, in my teens; however, since that time, my life has taken many twists and turns so that I did not pursue it with the gusto that I desired. Now, I have come back to the world of mindfulness and want to dive in full force. One of my inspirations for returning to this concept is the blogosphere. There are some amazing people out there who are blogging about mindfulness and related concepts. Some may wonder why I follow so many blogs about the same subject. The reason is that I get something different from each one. Each person has their own unique "flavor" in tone of writing as well as perception and definition of mindfulness. Each blogger adds their own spice to the wonderful world of being in the moment.


Because of the vast amount of value I have gotten from these beautiful bloggers, I want to take the time to really give them credit for how much they have taught and inspired me so I am going to do a post on each of them. I guess I should start with the first blogger who inspired me, Leo Babuta. He is a blogging legend at this point and has many followers and fans. The reason for this is multi-faceted. What I like about him is he is a good writer and comes across as genuine. I also like him because his writing to me is crisp and fresh, like a cool sip of lemon/lime soda. There is something clear and pure about his way of presenting things. He also comes across as very human in his writing. I first started reading his blog at zenhabits.com. Now, my favorite blog of his is mnmlist.com. What is brilliant about his blog on minimaism is the ideas are so simple yet we need reminding. It is about being mindful of what we need versus what we want. In a world of compulsive consumption, Leo writes about bare essentials and the beauty of bare essentials. I also love reading this blog because he does not act like he has perfected the art of minimalism. He talks about his struggles with it and how he has tried to adapt this philosophy to his life. He addresses not just excess in terms of material goods but excess of actions like spending so much time on the internet or watching television. He also challenges social and cultural norms of what a person "needs" to be happy. It reminds me to question why I hold on to things I do not really need and to start to let go of excess. I feel very lucky to be able to read his blogs!

My Personal Gospel

Part of being mindful is knowing yourself; paying attention to yourself. Part of paying attention to yourself is noting what attracts you. One aspect of how we know ourselves is by the music we like. I call this a personal gospel by which I mean songs that express an individual's point of view or personal life philosophy. The personal gospel is more than that, though. It is the moment when I feel completely in tune with a song where the sound connects with me and the lyrics express something that resonates deeply with me. Some songs that I consider in this "genre" are:

U2's "One"

Sting's "All This Time"

John Lennon's "Instant Karma"



I'd love to know what other people include in their "gospels".

The Art of Art



above photo taken by me

 In my creative expressions, I am seeking a way to capture the energy of a moment. With photography, it may just be the way a tree curves against the sky or the way the light hits a certain object. To me, the most successul art is when the artist manages to express something intensely personal that is also universal. When something from deep inside the artist touches something deep inside the audience, it unites us in our humanity. This very aspect of art which makes it worthwhile and miraculous is exactly what makes it difficult to master.  That is art's connection to mindfulness--real art is the ultmate expression of mindfulness--being completely in the flow of  a moment.




Therefore, when I try to create something, I am striving for representing my true self in as genuine a way as possible hoping that others will "recognize" it in themselves. This process is long and never-ending; a constantly evolving mission to know my true self and then express it. It is also why I love so many genres of art and am a fan of so many artists who do a wonderful job of creating something genuine and universal. 


I recently read a very thoughtful post about art from Pat Burn's blog (I am a fan of her art): the secret message in art
I would love to know other people's opinions on this topic!

Unwinding

As I described in my first post, which you can read here, my goal is to become an expert in mindfulness. I know this will take me years of reading, going to workshops, and practicing the techniques. With this much investment of time and energy, some may ask what is so worthwhile about mindfulness. While there is no way to really quantify all of the many ways that it is beneficial, I can share a personal experience to show some practical benefits. One night, after a twelve hour work day, I was exhausted. When I finally got in bed, though, I could not sleep. My mind was whirring like a wind turbine and each thought was like another gust setting the whole thing in motion again. I said to John, my fiance', "I can't sleep; I am wide awake!" He said, "That's because you keep thinking! Stop thinking!" In saying that, he reminded me that I was caught up in things that I could do nothing about at that moment and all I was doing was costing myself precious minutes of sleep. With that reminder, I took deep three deep breaths, and began focusing on my breathing. Every time my mind drifted, I gently brought my awareness back to my breath; within minutes I was asleep. This technique worked so well because it is something I have been doing for years; it takes practice and does not always work perfectly. However, honing this type of skill is priceless to those of us who sometimes have trouble slowing our turbines.

Do You Guru

In my quest to be a mindfulness expert, I have many books, blogs, articles, etc. to read.  Of course, I want to read those of the current experts in the field.  One of the "gurus" of the field is Jon Kabat-Zinn.  He has many books on mindfulness and has been in the field for many years.  All of his books are on my "to read" list.  Anyone interested in cultivating mindfulness would be smart to check him out.  So far, I have read:
This book was one of the first books I ever read on the topic and it had a huge impact on how I existed in the world.  It was years ago that I read it and I am planning on a re-read.  Also, for more of the "gurus" of the field and some free mindfulness meditations, I go to http://marc.ucla.edu/body.cfm?id=22.   I recently

saw that they are offering a certification in mindfulness instruction. If I didn't live a million miles from CA and had the money, I would totally go!  Talk about a "guru fest" of mindfulness!  Seriously, though, I have done the five minute meditation that is free and not only does it promote mindfulness, it is instantly relaxing.  So, take five and check it out.  I'd love to know what you think about it.

Mindfulness and Chocolate

One way to be mindful is with eating. So many people today, including me, eat while doing other things like watching television, surfing the internet, reading the back of the cereal box. Sometimes, I'll eat and then feel like "what did I just have?" One way to combat this "mindlessness" is to plan to be mindful during a meal. I am on Weight Watchers and also love chocolate. So, I like to make the most out of a small portion of chocolate. Being mindful with chocolate is quite enjoyable. With a piece of chocolate, I'll start by really noticing the rich aroma of the chocolate. Then, I will put a small piece in my mouth, feeling the texture on my tongue, the sweetness, the richness, the deliciousness of the taste. I'll let it melt on my tongue, really feeling it flatten itself smoothly on my tongue. I'll also really pay attention to all the sensations throughout my mouth. This exercise is best done with distractions limited--it should be all about the chocolate. Of course, this can be done with any food and I find that I am much more satisfied when I am more mindful about what I am eating.

Six Word Saturday

My new blog is about mindfulness.

description of my new blog

My New Direction: Mindfulness

I have decided that I want to become an expert in mindfulness. I know it will take years and I am willing to spend years to attain this goal. I have also decided to blog about my journey to become an expert, sharing my pitfalls and successes along the way along with my favorite resources. In this journey, I would love to engage with others on their experience with mindfulness. So, I will respond to comments in the comment section (hopefully, I will get comments!).