Lessons in Sand: Separate but One

We perceive the beach as a singularity.  We look out at the dunes and the vast stretches of sand and think of it as one.  Yet, if we put our fingers into the Earth, we see the grains of sand flow through our finger tips.  Similarly, we as humans are separate but one.  We rise and fall together just like dunes on the beach.  Yet, we are separate and individual like grains of sand.

Lessons in Sand: The Inevitability of Change

There is a lesson in sand.  It teaches us the ongoing flow and form of time.  We are like the grains of sand being shifted by forces we do not quite understand.  By accepting this shifting nature of time and reality, we can enjoy the ebb and flow.  

Zen Garden 7

“Walk as if you are kissing the Earth with your feet.” 
― Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life

Zen Garden 6

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing 
and rightdoing there is a field.
I'll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass
the world is too full to talk about.” 
― Rumi

Zen Garden 5

“In every outthrust headland, in every curving beach, in every grain of sand there is the story of the earth.” 
― Rachel Carson

Zen Garden 4

It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out; it's the grain of sand in your shoe. 
--Robert W. Service

A Handful of Mindfulness: A Book Review

I recently came across a wonderful book on bringing mindfulness to children.  This book is written by one of my favorite figures in the mindfulness community, Thich Nhat Hanh.  I was lucky enough to spend time at one of his monasteries, Blue Cliff http://www.bluecliffmonastery.org/ , pictured above.  It was a wonderful experience.  Although it was in January and had freezing temperatures, the experience was peaceful and amazing.

For those of you who are familiar with Thich Nhat Hanh, you know he has many different books.  However, A Handful of Quiet is specifically geared towards giving children a beginning experience of mindfulness.  A Handful of Quiet uses natural images and simple language that children can readily understand.  It is a wonderful and easy way to introduce children to a powerful coping mechanism for feelings and thoughts.

In addition to giving children an introduction into mindfulness, it is also a great tool for families to use together.  By practicing the techniques shared in this book, families can learn to be mindful together.  For busy and over-stressed families, being mindful and meditating together can be a way of refreshing connection as well as learning to regulate emotions effectively.  This book also provides an opportunity for parents to role model for their children ways of dealing with stress and maintaining calm.  Teachers, therapists, counselors, and others who work with children can also use this book in a similar manner.

After using this mindfulness/meditation on a daily basis over time, people can carry with them pictures of the natural images used.  These pictures can become a reminder of the calmness experienced during the meditation.  Therefore, the feeling brought by using this meditation can be brought into many different environments.

Zen Garden 3

Even Castles made of sand, fall into the sea, eventually. 
--Jimi Hendrix

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To see a world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower Hold infinity in the palms of your hand and eternity in an hour. --William Blake

Zen garden

Zen garden 1

"Now the Ears of My Ears are Open"

I mentioned in my last post Lend Me Your Ear that I would talk about my experience practicing mindful listening. My fiance' kindly agreed to give it a try with me. We started by facing each other. I was the listener the first time around. Being mindful while listening without interrupting the other person or saying anything at all for five minutes was a new experience. It was different than I expected and it made me feel more connected with what he was saying. When he was the listener, he also felt like it was a different sort of experience. I have found that practicing it (when I remember to) has yielded interesting results, particularly when dealing with people who are angry and stressed. I have found that mindfully listening to agitated people allows them to get it all out and they eventually lose the energy of the emotion and end the conversation either apologizing or at least being more rational. It is definitely a tool I will continue to use!  Let me know how it has worked for you.

(The title is taken from one of my favorite poets, e.e.cummings.  I highly recommend his collected works for the poet enthusiasts out there!)

Lend me your Ear: The Power of Mindful Listening

One of my favorite quotes is from Plato: "Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." I love this quote because kindness is often under rated and we often dehumanize each other (by we, I mean humans in general).

The other night, I was watching SNL (because Paul McCartney was the musical guest and he is one of my favorites!) and they had a skit that made fun of the fact that we sometimes don't know the names of people we see and interact with every day. We see them as their function instead of a full human being with depth and a story.

For me, this highlights another great feature of mindfulness in that it can be applied to relationships. So, I have a challenge for anyone reading this post. I challenge you to take notice of someone in your life and really pay attention to them for at least one conversation. Practice really listening to what they are saying, how they are saying it, and their motivation for saying it. While doing that, check in with yourself, attend to your own reactions to it and body sensations, really strive to be in that moment. If you do that, I'd love to know your experience! I will talk about my experience with it in another post soon!

Tune In, Turn On, Pay Attention: What is your Media Diet Doing to You

What are you filling your mind with? Buttery delicious movies with lots of explosions, sugary sweet reality shows with lots of romance and intrigue, or meaty, bloody crime dramas and medical shows?   Or do you prefer news shows that pretend to be objective and make you nod your head in agreement or make you want to throw your shoe at the television screen?  Or do you like listening to the radio?  You can find a range of song types and radio shows as varied as television shows.  Have you ever considered, though, what the ultimate impact these things are having on your perception of the world and your overall outlook? 

The effect of my media diet became clear to me after
I started having nightmares from watching too many episodes of Law and Order (SVU, Crime Unit, the original, etc.).   I was addicted to Law and Order shows for a long time, watching new episodes and reruns practically every day until I really saw how it was affecting me.  When I had a dream about someone breaking into my apartment and attacking me, I knew it was time to really pay attention to how watching this much of the show was affecting me.   

The idea of media diet is another place where mindfulness can help. By paying attention to what media we are "consuming" we may decide we do not want to consume it anymore or consume less of it or keep it the same. Just like mindlessly eating, we can sometimes
get pulled into the trap of mindlessly watching or listening. It's
like liking a song until you listen to the lyrics and realize they
contradict all your basic values.  At first, you liked the music a lot until one day, you really took the time to listen to the lyrics to see what it was about.  You may be surprised by what you hear. 

Take one day and just pay attention to your "media diet".  See if it is working for you or working against you.  If you do it, I'd love to hear about your experience!

My First Award

I received my first blogging award!  I am extremely excited!  Thanks for the award goes to Doreen from the blog reflections.  I love her blog and her eye for photography.  I am honored that she thought of me for one of the recipients.

There are four steps to follow that come along with this award.

1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 15 recently discovered great bloggers.
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award.

Seven things about myself:
1. I am interested in mindfulness hence this blog.
2.  I love poetry which can be seen on my other blog.
3. I am engaged and getting married in June.
4. I have two cats: Magnum and Winston.
5. I live in South Jersey.
6. I love taking pictures.
7. I just finished reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and I am now reading The Good Earth.

Now, I must admit I cannot come up with fifteen blogs to share this award so I will have to just do five.

1.  http://www.awakeisgood.com/  This blog is also about mindfulness as well as meditation and spiritual growth.  Janice Lynne Lundy does this blog.  She includes book reviews as well as guided meditations.  It is well worth visiting!  Janice also does a course on spiritual growth.

2.  Cottage Garden Studios I like this blog because Sara who does this blog has a great energy in her writing and does some unique art work that I like.  She also does excellent photography.

3. http://thegoodtypist.blogspot.com/ I like this blogger because she does some excellent poetry.

4. writeplacewritechick This blog is by Jarielyn who lives in Las Vegas.  I find her blog to be fun.

5. Writing in Faith I love this blog. The blogger is Sandy Carlson. It is a combo photo and poetry blog.  The poems are uplifting and the photos are beautiful.  I always feel good after visiting this blog.

Well, I hope you like my recommendations!  If you check them out, I'd love to know what you think!

Mindfulness: It's Not Just for Buddhists Anymore

"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom."  --Viktor Frankl



There is a rampant preconception that mindfulness is only a spiritual
tool. Due to this belief, many people who would benefit from
mindfulness reject it. Like many others, I do use mindfulness for
spiritual reasons; however, it does not have to be used that way. The
technique itself can benefit the most staunch of atheists. The act of
mindfulness is simply being in the moment with all of ones' senses
focused on where one is. It is a way of grounding oneself and becoming
centered. Benefits for those of us not interested in pursuing a
spiritual path include many things, but three major ones that I can
identify are:

1. Increased self awareness. When locating oneself in the moment, it
makes you more aware of yourself. This awareness is empowering and
like my favorite Viktor Frankl quote above, gives us the power to
change direction.

2. Greater self control. As I alluded to above, when we bring our
awareness to the moment, it helps us act with our authentic selves and
not act mindlessly in habitual ways. For example, when in the moment
and really paying attention to what you are doing, you may be more
likely to choose a piece of fruit for breakfast than a donut. Now, if
you are like me, you may grab the donut anyway sometimes, but
mindfulness will help you enjoy that donut much more fully than just
scarfing it down.  I talk about being more mindful about eating here:
 mindfulness-and-chocolate.html
3. The Several Physiological benefits. There are many benefits to
mindful meditation that research has supported. In fact, UCLA has a
mindfulness department (MARC) where you can read more about it, take
classes about mindfulness, and even have access to free mindfulness
meditations.

I'd love to hear from others who have more ideas on the benefits!

Why Not Today, This Second

Why wait to wake up?  Every second gives us an opportunity to start again, to start moving our lives in a new direction.  Even if it feels like an impossible task, even the minutest change can have a ripple effect.  Just think where you would be right now if you had started moving in the direction you want to go a month ago, a year ago, ten years ago? 

Happy Lotus: Another Amazing Blog

In my series of posts about blogs I love, the next one I would have to talk about is happylotus.com. I do not remember how I came across this blog but am so happy that I did. The blogger is Nadia and she is one of the most genuine bloggers you will find in the genre of "self-improvement" blogging. However, her blog is so much more than "self-improvement". She is more about self evolution at every level. Every time I read her blog, I feel stronger and wiser. What's amazing about her blog is that although she has a huge following, there is something very personal in her writing style so that each reader feels a connection with her. In her original blog, Nadia would reply to every person that left a comment. I am not talking one word replies; I mean thought-out, sometimes lengthy replies as if she really cared about what you said and wanted to acknowledge it in a deep way. She even responded thoughtfully to negative comments, not taking offense and not getting defensive. She has recently started a new project that includes blog posts but many other services that I have not yet explored fully. Her posts, more than any others, stuck with me long after I logged off the computer. In this blog, I will probably write posts that are reactions to her posts just because her posts are really inspiring to me.

For more discussion on other blogs I like, check out:
the wonderful world of being in the moment

Moment of Synchronicity

As I was reading the post about corporations on mnmlist.com "Across the Universe" was playing on my mp3 player.

The Wonderful World of Being in the Moment

When I look at what some people have accomplished and what they know in the realm of mindfulness, I realize that it is going to take me several years to even begin to know what I want to know on the subject. In the field of mindfulness, I am truly a novice; however, I am passionate about it and eager to know more. My interest in the subject began over twenty years ago, in my teens; however, since that time, my life has taken many twists and turns so that I did not pursue it with the gusto that I desired. Now, I have come back to the world of mindfulness and want to dive in full force. One of my inspirations for returning to this concept is the blogosphere. There are some amazing people out there who are blogging about mindfulness and related concepts. Some may wonder why I follow so many blogs about the same subject. The reason is that I get something different from each one. Each person has their own unique "flavor" in tone of writing as well as perception and definition of mindfulness. Each blogger adds their own spice to the wonderful world of being in the moment.


Because of the vast amount of value I have gotten from these beautiful bloggers, I want to take the time to really give them credit for how much they have taught and inspired me so I am going to do a post on each of them. I guess I should start with the first blogger who inspired me, Leo Babuta. He is a blogging legend at this point and has many followers and fans. The reason for this is multi-faceted. What I like about him is he is a good writer and comes across as genuine. I also like him because his writing to me is crisp and fresh, like a cool sip of lemon/lime soda. There is something clear and pure about his way of presenting things. He also comes across as very human in his writing. I first started reading his blog at zenhabits.com. Now, my favorite blog of his is mnmlist.com. What is brilliant about his blog on minimaism is the ideas are so simple yet we need reminding. It is about being mindful of what we need versus what we want. In a world of compulsive consumption, Leo writes about bare essentials and the beauty of bare essentials. I also love reading this blog because he does not act like he has perfected the art of minimalism. He talks about his struggles with it and how he has tried to adapt this philosophy to his life. He addresses not just excess in terms of material goods but excess of actions like spending so much time on the internet or watching television. He also challenges social and cultural norms of what a person "needs" to be happy. It reminds me to question why I hold on to things I do not really need and to start to let go of excess. I feel very lucky to be able to read his blogs!

My Personal Gospel

Part of being mindful is knowing yourself; paying attention to yourself. Part of paying attention to yourself is noting what attracts you. One aspect of how we know ourselves is by the music we like. I call this a personal gospel by which I mean songs that express an individual's point of view or personal life philosophy. The personal gospel is more than that, though. It is the moment when I feel completely in tune with a song where the sound connects with me and the lyrics express something that resonates deeply with me. Some songs that I consider in this "genre" are:

U2's "One"

Sting's "All This Time"

John Lennon's "Instant Karma"



I'd love to know what other people include in their "gospels".